


Swim good

by red_dwarfs_command



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Suicide, kind of sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 13:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1689203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_dwarfs_command/pseuds/red_dwarfs_command
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dante finds it hard to keep living when his best friend dies. <br/>Named and Inspired by Frank Ocean's song Swim Good :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swim good

All things these days were not felt. Usually just waited through. Everything fast paced and ugly. The view outside my window is just a mass of an ugly shade of green and buildings. The smells of the city make me suffocate and want to vomit. I’ve never noticed how ugly the world is until Brooklyn left. Probably because she was the only beautiful thing in my life.

She was the only one who cared that I wasn’t eating or wasting my time away to people I didn’t ever need. Choosing pleasure over true feelings. She was the only one I wanted in my life. The only one I needed. She even said in her suicide note that I was the only person she ever cared about and loved. But she said she felt deceived by my actions. That I was wasting what ‘beauty’ I had on people who didn’t deserve me or used me. I didn’t care though. She was my top priority. Above myself on that list. I’d only wanted to make her happy and safe… and healthy. She never told me about her depression or how she started to learn to hate me instead of become too attached when she had to leave. Her last days were spent explaining why she didn’t want to be around me. She said she didn’t need anymore negative energy. I tried to change but she’d just say I’m faking it.

Now look at me. Looking out the window of class, looking at trees and the blue sky. I hate the color blue. It’s ugly. I hate a lot of colors. I hate a lot of sounds. Just things in general I hate a lot of. This was the thing she hated about me. Heh, funny. I’ve long lost motivation in becoming a zoologist and by now, just want to go blind and never have to see again. I’ve been like this for a while now. No one seems to give a shit like she ever did. Rosa would if Samuel would just let her. But she’s attached to him like everyone else.

I used to be pretty popular. Didn’t care, but still acknowledged the fact. But everyone drifted away when I started focusing on Brooklyn instead of the others. They all seemed to latch onto Samuel for some weird reason, maybe his red eyes? He was pretty wise and full of positivity. Even Alistair went over to Samuel… Seems that Samuel has taken everyone that could’ve cared about me besides Brooklyn. I could care less by now since everyone just ignores me nowadays.

Dirk has tried to visit and give me hope but everything is long gone and I just want to be left alone in my room and sleep away everything. Start over. But life isn’t a fucking game. Reality. Not something I very much like. I don’t even know why I keep going to school. I’m just a walking zombie by this point. Always bringing a dark cloud with me, making everyone around me uncomfortable.

Class is over when the loud, obnoxious bell rings, making my headache worse. I get my bag and walk out slowly enough so people don’t touch me. I don’t like being touched anymore, not even a nudge. I don’t want to get close to anyone anymore, scared it might wash her away. The hallways aren’t to bad today, but the noises of the others are enough to make me want to scream until i’m mute. It’s lunch time for me so I just go directly outside to the fountain and sit on the edge of it to look at the water. Water is one of the only things that’s beautiful in this place. It’s calming, touching. It’s just. Perfect.

After a few minutes of touching and looking at the water, I hear footsteps. Multiple footsteps coming near me. Please. No. Fuck no. They stop and seem to be waiting for me to turn around and greet them but I keep watching the water, wishing they’d leave. One clears their throat and speaks,”Dante. Look at me.” Shit it’s Samuel. I really don’t mind samuel, but I don'tlike looking at people so no. I shake my head and take deep breaths. My patience for everything has been taken with Brooklyn.

“Dante! Fucking LISTEN.” Shit now he’s yelling. I bring my hands over my ears and yell back,”Shut up SAM. I have a fucking headache asswipe.” Great now my throat hurts! This is why I never talk. Also I hate my voice. I look at him and put my hands down. He’s with literally, almost everyone in our old group. The fuck? He looks straight into my eyes with those fucking red balls of light. I hate red. I washed the dye I used to have of it out of my hair when she left.

He snaps his fingers in my face causing me to flinch,”Listen, Why are you still coming to school these days if you aren’t going to listen or progress? Is it your pride? Cause I don’t think you have much by now and you’re causing us to worry a shit ton with your silent treatment. So, answer and we’ll leave.” Rosa elbows him and he just shrugs. I look down at my lap and simply state,”I don’t know” I look back up and he looks pissed for some reason. Why is he pissed? Am I really that hated these days? That pathetic that I’d just make anyone who speaks with me cringe? “You’re fucking pathetic Dante. We’ve tried to help before but you just can’t take minor blows of life.” Samuel walks away with everyone following their fucking leader. That actually hurt. They never once tried to help. All they did was sugarcoat the situation or make it worse for me. She wasn’t a minor blow in my life. She’s everything. I want to cry, scream, hurt things. But I can’t. I guess I’ll just go home and sleep it off. Like everything else I do.

I’m driving, thinking. I hate thinking. But something’s telling me to keep driving until I feel better. So I pass my apartment and drive onto some dirt roads. -5 miles-  Thing’s have never been great for me. Like Alistair turning me down for Natalie and Brooklyn’s death. Alistair hasn’t really wanted to talk to me after my whole-hearted confession and has shunned me. Oh well. -1 mile-

I’ve been driving for a little while until I realize I’m driving towards a cliff edge. It goes over the ocean. I don’t feel like stopping anytime soon. Everything in me is telling me to keep going until the road runs out and I’m surrounded by the welcoming of beauty. I see the edge. I also now realize I’ve been followed by another car. It looks like Rosa’s. Why?

Well, whoever it is, better not try to stop me. I hear voices saying stop when I reach the edge but I’m already flying. I’m getting some good air to the point where I’m pretty far from the coast. When my car collides with the water everything is dark. It’s blue but whatever. It doesn’t matter anyways. Water quickly wraps it’s cold, silky arms around me from the open window and pleads me to stop breathing. I do what it says and relax into the only thing that matters to me right now, and burn from the insides until I fall asleep. Feeling. Even if it is my last time. Perfection. Feeling.

**Author's Note:**

> I may continue this for my own satisfaction XD... To explain why they were following him and worried... Soooo yeah and the whole miles part was from the song Swim Good :)...Oh and Dante is an extreme overreactor and Samuel is kind of mean..Not really though, just worried. AND THIS IS KIND OF AN OLD PIECE  
> Brooklyn= The Handmaid  
> Dante= The Summoner  
> Samuel= The Sufferer  
> Natalie=Redglare  
> Rosa=Dolorosa  
> Alistair=Ghb  
> Dirk=Bro(I used Dirk instead of another name for Bro since I couldn't think of anything)


End file.
